Well today was productive...

This morning I woke up bright and early and went to the farmers market and got tons of fresh veggies and fruits as well as edible flowers (yes--edible flowers, which I will be using tonight in my meal...shh..don't tell my test subjects.) My daughter and I also had breakfast there--a very yummy breakfast burrito with their specialty relish...it was healthy and delicious! Walking around the farmers market reminded me why eating healthy is so very important. I loved the beautiful colors of the veggies and fruits. And makes me want to try new things and eat fresh produce. Yum! I can't wait. Below is a salad I'm making...I'm also adding heirloom tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli, green onions, and olive oil. Tasty!

I also ran this morning...7 miles and it was amazing...I wanted to run longer but I'm having my family over this evening for dinner and am in the process of cooking. This has been a pretty awesome day so far. As far as tomorrow, I weigh myself...whether I lose tomorrow or not, I feel as though I'm making leaps and bounds. And finally, I got my hair did! Yes I said "did"!! I love it, I've never had bangs before, but thought I would try something new.Well until tomorrow!

Girl with a Goal

Its friday...thank goodness! And I'm a couple days from weighing in and for the first time, I am excited about doing it. I have been eating pretty well. This week, I have cut out the endless snacking. Which has worked wonders for the scale, but I can also tell in my runs how much more energy I have. Usually the snacks I ate didnt consist of any nutritional value and were laden with sugar...because I love sugar and carbs! But I have been having three healthy meals a day. Which works better then having 5 meals for me due to my horrible snacking habits. Breakfast, lunch and dinner thats all I need. And found out this week, I'm not really hungry during the times I used to snack...which confirms that I need to remain aware of my emotional eating habits.

Next week, I get to work on my carb and sugar intake. Although, I'm not snacking right now, I do love ending my dinner with desert everyday. And I'm still a sucker for bread. I would ultimately love to switch from regular bread to Eziekel bread and lower my carb intake completely. I would also like to chose one sweet thing a week (kinda like a weekend treat or something). I'm proud of myself this week because instead of knocking down a pint of ice cream or a huge rice crispy bar made for two or three, I decided to purchase the mini one serving size ice cream. They are pricey, but the good news is its one serving and tastes delicious and then I move on with my day. Yesterday I had a 1/2 of rice crispy bar and usually it would be a large one (big enough for two people). So it feels good that I'm making changes...the turtle wins the race...and keeps the weight off!!
As far as running, it as been nice. Yesterday was a little difficult because I was tired from school the night before, but felt good when I finished. This Saturday I do my long run and downloaded some cool new tunes to get me through it. Sunday, I get to start weights. I'm a little anxious about this...I think I already mentioned I hate weights! I would rather walk barefoot on hot coals. But realize its needed...
But other than this, things are progressing for the better and I'm liking the pace of things...

I'm a firm believer...

that with every step back is two steps forward...(I like to look at the glass 1/2 full)...So I had an unbelievably humbling moment today. So my boyfriend and I were looking at some pictures of us from when we were up at the cabin over the Labor Day weekend...And I got pretty sad, because I realized I have truly let myself go not to mention this morning, I put on a dress that I use to swim in and now its so tight it is uncomfortable. I am ashamed where I put myself...now, this is not a cry for help...because I am making all the right moves to change...but I need to dive deeper to why I got to where I am. And why I am so fond of yo-yo dieting...I must be; this has been a way of life for me for such a long time. And although I have committed to a better and healther me...I can't help but feel just a bit discouraged.
I'm glad that I am able to share my frustrations, because I know that others have felt the same. I have to remember this moment right here...I have to remember how very unhappy and unattractive I feel right now...and make sure that I never feel this way again. No food items is worth me feeling this way....the lessons we learn are often a blessing in disguish, I hope this is mine.

Its been a while

since I've been here; I weighed myself today and I am 181.7...this makes for 3.3lbs this week. I know that I have a long road but its nice to see progress...This will be a long haul but I am excited to make the effort.. I enjoyed running yesterday for the first time in a long time. I found some new tunes and used those as my inspiration to keep on going. Some oldies some goodies...It was lovely. I wanted to take some pictures so you could see my joy; but I decided to have this for myself. To take this joy and keep it for myself...I'm usually not this selfish and I wanted to share this joy and pass it around; but this time I want to be selfish. This time I want this for myself, this small gift that I found within myself. I want to keep it for me and me only. To keep this little piece of joy and I hope that I feel that again this evening as I run....

First day at work...

after the holiday...well...it was pretty tough...I have a pretty stressful job (who really doesn't)...and I thought that coming home and running would be much needed. Especially, after a wonderful run yesterday. But here is the problem; I decided to renew my tabs, which took an hour and with grocery shopping and getting my daughter ready for her 2nd day of school. I must admit, these are excuses coming out of my mouth. I only ran 2 miles today and my snacking came back to bite me. But for tomorrow, I set my self up for success...by grocery shopping for snacks that will not expand my waist line, such as lite string cheese and apples.
I had mentioned yesterday that there would be no carbs and kinda blew that today, by having a couple of bread sticks.
I'm trying to come to an understanding with myself...this journey is a little more difficult then I intended. But all is not lost, I'm not a quitter... so I start again tomorrow. I need to get over this emotional eating...I hate it...it sucks. How do I get over this hump...I will have to work on a plan...I'm ready to do this; accomplishing it is way more difficult then I had anticipated.
Tomorrows a new day. And I need all the luck I can get.

Start Day!

There is something amazing about start day. Its when the average Joe realizes that...hey...I'm pretty tubey...and its time to make some changes...what a great day to start because I have the day off, I have time to evaluate what needs to be done and how I'm going to make this a successful journey so I can do this on my own for the rest of my life. So my plan for the next few days (09/03/2012-09/05/2012) will be about eliminating breads and sugars that are not naturally found in whole foods and only eating protein, oranges and raw green veggies. ONLY for a few days...I consider it to be my cleanse. I remember this worked well when I was on Slimgenics. I still had lots of energy and was still able to remain comfortable without being hungry. I think it is important to start fresh and the only way I will do this, is to start with a clean palate. Meaning, I love carbs and sugar! They have been my staple, but now I must learn how to eat them more responsibly. I am also going to run, I have not run for a couple days and need this for my body. Especially since my marathon is in one month...I think I have a great plan going for the next few days.  To hold myself accountable I will blog my food diary and I will post pictures once a week as well as any weight loss/gains I may have.

I've never been excited about stepping out on my own to lose weight. I am always excited about paying someone else to worry about it...but now its my turn...I want to and need to worry about it~ I want to live my life not live for food...I want a healthy relationship with food, not this yo yo dieting thing...it sucks. I also intend to start weights this week...I hate them...but I understand they are a necessity.


Well until tomorrow!

Preparation and Acceptance...Two Challenging Combinations!

So the first step at improving ones self is acceptance. For the past few months I've been trying to avoid the fact my jeans are tighter, I have muffin top when I where my dress pants, and no matter how much I suck in my gut, that fupa won't get any smaller. I also have had been weighing myself in hopes that the scale made a terrible mistake and that I really truly am not in the 180s and the next time I hop on I will be significantly less. I ran four miles yesterday and found that I'm a little more tired then I have been in past runs. So today, I'm going to do something crazy! Post my before picture. Now I've never shared my before pictures before...I just took the pictures and of course it was a constant reminder to me personally of the changes I needed to make. But in order to keep myself accountable, I  must lay everything on the line. This is the only way I will grow and change for the better. I'm embarressed by this picture...and feel very humbled as well. I am a mad at myself for giving up on my eating habits and throwing in the towel. I have paid thousands of dollars for many different weight loss programs just to end up right back where I started...so here it is, here I am as I move forward and change.